Dog Advice & Discussion :: Dog Chat

Ok, the rules are.....to get a long story with only three words at a time

I'll start...

The cute wee

puppy had a

sweet little nose

she liked to

sniff and lick

other dogs toes

then their nose

maybe their ears

then she would

jump on them

One day out

when she was

going a walk

she found a

poor dog wearing

a stupid fluffy

coat and ecollar

it upset her

so she tugged

it fell off :D

and both dogs

started to play

with the ecollar  :mrgreen:

It was such

fun to see

Denis trying to

stay calm and

not have a

Hissy fit . He

took the remote

but the batteries

had become disconnected 

so he stamped

on them hard

and the dogs

pee'd on him

then ran down

to the river

to escape from

The seething madman

they found a

nice quiet place

where nobody could

attach electronic devices

by then denis

became completely unhinged

and threw himself

headfirst into the

pavement and wet

grass covered in

jelly and icecream

the other dogs

all ran over

and bit him

trying to lick

his nose with

all the cream

dripping onto the

ecollar and sending

Him into a

nother hissy fit

then he saw

a great big

pink pig flying

towards the moon

and letting off

Loud party poppers

pink pig fell

hurtling to the

prickly thistle bush

and then a

man in a

white suit came

running up the

road followed by

an irish wolfhound

that was trained

which was wearing........

a massive smile

because Denis was

looking very sheepish

and hiding under

the computer table...

like a little

cry baby then

suddenly without warning

a freezing cold

wet fish slapped

him right round

the face and

his sorry ar se

then he sat

down and began

to cry &cry

because he was

can i have more than 3 words at this point please ?  :mrgreen:

Okay in 50 words or less - over to you Jason :-)

WELL!!!!

Naaaaaaaa that would spoil the fun  :mrgreen: It's better to be direct to him , then he can make a fool of himself .
.............because he was

an ecollar machosist (sp?)

and would stop at nothing

Sorry...cheating here... :mrgreen:

to take over............. :evil:

the lunatic asylum

but the doctors

said take ecollar

and strap it

to his...............




































 :shock:














 small

and crusty foot

and then get

busy with the...

pretty big blonde

with very huge

boils and warts

who also likes

raw fish eyes (yeuck!)

and sado masochism   :shock:

and to ride

bareback on a

Tame hairy Gorilla

while thinking about

Eastenders on telly    :lol:

Denis wasn't very

pleased with the

lack of respect

shown to him

but knew that

a long zapp

would'nt earn him

any respect points  :mrgreen:

Then Lou arrived  :roll:

Ere..what's going

what? no ecollar?

and kicked Denis

right in the

big and hairy  :oops:

head,Denis then

pulled a moonie!  :shock:

and Lou fainted

and landed on

alive electrical wire   :shock:

he was frazzled

by the stim

and break danced

through the field

towards the river

followed by Denis

Shouting ive got

a pain in

my a***, please

wait till i

can't feel it

or see it

because it frightens

the life out

of me , his

red buttocks burning ( :oops:)

he pleaded with

the positive trainers

to help him

be like them

AND TO GIVE

him the chance

to say sorry

for all of

mad bad sins

SORRY TO ALL

for everything he

has said and

done to all

because if not...........

he would cry  :cry: :cry:

and his nose

is going to  :twisted:

turn into a

a red bubble
 :-P

and pop

and he lived

in a dustbin

The story so far...

The cute wee puppy had a sweet little nose.  She liked to sniff and lick other dogs toes, then their nose, maybe their ears, then she would jump on them.

One day out when she was going a walk she found a poor dog wearing a stupid fluffy coat and ecollar. It upset her so she tugged. It fell off  :D and both dogs started to play with the ecollar.  :mrgreen:

It was such fun to see Denis trying to stay calm and not have a hissy fit. He took the remote but the batteries had become disconnected so he stamped on them hard and the dogs pee'd on him then ran down to the river to escape from the seething madman.

They found a nice quiet place where nobody could attach electronic devices.  By then Denis became completely unhinged and threw himself headfirst into the pavement and wet grass covered in jelly and icecream.

The other dogs all ran over and bit him, trying to lick his nose with all the cream dripping onto the ecollar and sending him into another hissy fit. Then he saw a great big pink pig flying towards the moon and letting off loud party poppers.

Pink pig fell hurtling to the prickly thistle bush and then a man in a white suit came running up the road followed by an Irish Wolfhound that was trained, which was wearing a massive smile because Denis was looking very sheepish and hiding under the computer table like a little cry baby then suddenly without warning a freezing cold wet fish slapped him right round the face and his sorry ar se.

Then he sat down and began to cry &cry because he was an ecollar masochist and would stop at nothing to take over the lunatic asylum but the doctors said take ecollar and strap it to his small and crusty foot and then get busy with the pretty big blonde with very huge boils and warts who also likes raw fish eyes (yeuck!) and sado masochism  :shock: and to ride bareback on a tame hairy gorilla while thinking about Eastenders on telly.  :lol:   

Denis wasn't very pleased with the lack of respect shown to him but knew that a long zapp wouldn't earn him any respect points.   :mrgreen:

Then Lou arrived.  :roll: Ere..what's going? What? No ecollar? and kicked Denis right in the big and hairy  :oops: head. Denis then pulled a moonie  :shock: and Lou fainted and landed on a live electrical wire. :shock: He was frazzled by the stim and break danced through the field towards the river followed by Denis shouting "I've got a pain in my a***, please wait till I can't feel it or see it because it frightens the life out of me."

His red buttocks burning, (:oops:) he pleaded with the positive trainers to help him be like them and to give him the chance to say sorry for all of mad bad sins, sorry to all for everything he has said and done to all because if not he would cry  :cry: :cry: and his nose is going to  :twisted:  turn into a... a red bubble and pop and he lived in a dustbin...........


I really must get out more. :roll:

carry on..

 :mrgreen:

(Sooo funny! :lol: :lol: :lol: Could be worth putting into print?  All profits to Dogsblog  :lol:)

........for a long

long time until

one day an

apple fell from

the tree where

denis was hiding

(what was Denis doing up a tree???)

.....he tried not

(he was under the tree)

to get hit

( what , with the dogs ?)



...but he was

(nah, the dog's wouldn't go near him - scary person)

not quick enough

...the apple smashed

onto his wig

which made a

lot of smoke

come out of................. :shock:

he dropped his

brand new zapper

a border collie

(You back on the wine, Kerriebaby?  :D)

all wired up

AND SAID OI!

(I WISH!)

Okay is it me or is someone on the bottle so early in the day??

we're going to

let Kerri know

that she seems

to have lost

the plot. So

 :mrgreen:

whatever we do

she is bored

and needs cheering

with a new

story me thinks

So who will....

be the first

to start it???

said the man

with the wellies

and the yellow

shiny raincoat on

his donkey. The

man shouted to

his friend dan

quick get your

hat and coat

we're off for

the day to

Blackpool amusement park


 :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

WOW dan screached

can i bring

My candyfoss on

no you cant

well what about

a stick of rock

Yeah, alright then

Goody Goody Goody

can we go

on ECollar ride  :mrgreen:

with Denis please

if Lou comes

Too. The speed

will shock them

, no stim them

lol  :lol:

Oh yes, sorry

Lou and Denis

had an idea

to take on.......

the whole world!

with websites everywhere

Helping to stop

the likes of

patient training techniques

and yummy treats

being a part

of every doggie's

happy little life  :D

with loads of

cuddles and walkies

and positive experiences

Nice Sarabe helped

and bought a

long lead and

and proper collar

with a pretty

name tag on

his tail wagged

(Jk Rowling couldnt write better!)

with joy and

he barked and

woke the neighbours

sarabe soothed him

and said "thats"

ok my baby

its too late

to stop now

the lochness monster

is coming ahhh

quick run away

and hide in

the Ecollar shop  :mrgreen:

That'll scare the

ranting and raving

Denis and Lou

we could all

lock them in

the jaws of

a great big

whale, who was

a reincarnated dog

by the name

willy the wonka :)

owned by Denis the plonka


(cheated sorry but it is my first offence m'laud)  :oops:

we all laughed

to see such

a weird man

run away with

a strange look

Ryan walked over

and as soon

as he saw

what was happening

he jumped back

denis was on

crack cocaine and

Magic mushrooms, he

had his finger

right up his  :shock:

nose!!!!! Then a

very hairy dog

 lunged at him

and bit him

on the bum

He screamed "Ow......

that hurt. I'm..

a pathetic little

wimp, I know

but you can

get locked up

with lou if

you admit that

you love to

play with strange

devices of torture :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

so I'm not

saying a word

about using ecollars

and using unnecessary

copies and pastes 

with defamatory comments

about good folk

without any proof

whatsoever. Additionally he

said to K9

"Are you Ryan?"

"yep i'm handsome!"

 :evil: but beware of...

me because if

Jason Fisher gets

his big ribbon

out he'll want

to pin it

where the sun

dont shine... :shock: So

steer clear of

him if you

(can someone update who were on about now???)

dont fancy that

Ryan slapped Denis

with his clipboard

Denis howled in

B flat minor

and said thats .........................."A sharp"clipboard  :lol: ( sorry musical joke )

why did you

do that you

i need a

plaster now for

my ears, because

they are bleeding

well full of

muck and guck

tiny little zzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaappppppss

may help zap

out the offending

blockages which effect

brain cell functions

what are those

said Denis. I

would like those

if they help

with digging the

rather large hole

to bury all

my ecollars in

(ive decide to start a new story so here we go again)
down in somerset

where the fields

are beautiful and

and the tractors

chug along throughout

all bloody roads

the twist and

turns, of the

cows dancing are

amazing to watch.

Now in devon

there is a

wonderful smell in

the farmers fields

of juicy manure ;)

which reminds you

of your mum (lol joking)

when ever it

smells like her! :oops:

you have to

not mention dennis

otherwise you will

get a punishment

Lose respect points

thinkin more electrocution

painful loss of

respect point oy!!!

AND SUFFERING FOR

hangover.Got aspirin?

ONLY IF YOU

TYPE IN CAPITALS?

said pudnbitz. Then

Choccielab totally lost

THE PLOT COS

Kerriebaby mucked it

up by confusing

everybody. So left  :cry:

kerriebaby came back  :grin:

we were pleased

excitement all around

had a party

and played loud

music and drank

all the wine

while dancing all

around our handbags!!

til we pulled........ :wink:

out another bottle.. :mrgreen:

and collapshed on

the dance floor

in a heap

In the morning

with very sore

heads and feet

we all got

a LOVELY breakfast

,egg,bacon,sausages

cooked in custard

drizzled with chicken...   ( : P )

everyone felt sick

and really fat

went on diet

lost a few

more dog hairs

brushed the dogs

with neighbours cat (sorry i did say i was bored) :oops:

the cat then

did a headstand :shock:

and turned around

and smiled. Suddenly

a bird flew

and pooped over  :shock:

the cat's whiskers  :roll:.

the cat hissed

waved it's tail

very crossly and

darted into the

rabbits hole at

the bottom of

of the garden

where a mouse

was quivering in

a corner, wet

and muddy, he

cheered and smiled

"Do come in"

"have a cuppa"

ive got cake

and a nice

pile of washing

up and dirty

knickers to wash

the stunned cat

proceeded to lick

the cream cake

and the knickers

'thankyou' the mouse

squeeked, now please

do the dishes

because I want

a cat nap

Just read the whole 32 pages lol ha ha ha ha ha ha ha RALMAO  :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mouse went out

and so did

Felix, licking his

whiskas and wondering

what to do

then he found

A very old

dirty bag with

mouldy bread in

dismayed he looked

and then saw

nasty creepy crawlies

he crouched low

and peered into

the black hole

suddenly he saw

a purple kangaroo

jumping passed with

a sledge hammer

hanging from its

thick solid neck

it walked towards

a juicy apricot

yummy he thought

and he bit

into it....Yuck   

Turning, he spat

it out onto

a big fluffy

scary looking caterpillar

who was ready

with a giant

red and throbbing..... (sorry)

Enormous great big

incredibly scary looking

electric baseball bat

It played a

game with the

the silly dog

before starting to

run out of

his secret collection

of old and

useless pieces of

brass coal buckets